April 5th is a massive day for Classic Hollywood birthdays, one of which being that of Bette Davis (1908). So yesterday I decided to watch All about Eve (1950) for the billionth time, hoping to write a little something about my favorite lines or something, and when I sat down to write it, I realized I couldn’t. I couldn’t come up with anything, because I couldn’t single anything out. Every single thing in this darned film is perfect. Every line (and I mean, EVERY line), every character, every monologue (Bill’s love-hate relationship with the theatre, Eve’s obsession with it, and Margo’s mid-life crisis are stand-out moments for me), not to mention the outrageously fantastic performances. Everything about it is incredible. I’ve talked about All about Eve a few times here in the Garden, including on a comparison article between it and Sunset Blvd (1950), and I’ve run out of things to say about it. It is almost offensively brilliant and I’ve loved it for far too long to objectively or even subjectively assess it. Although, if I were to do a list of my favorite lines, the heartburn exchange at the party would be very near the top. Probably even higher than ‘Fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy night.’ I said probably. Maybe. Who knows. Thankfully, I wouldn’t know where to begin with that.